After an amazing weekend of being used and abused, of being together with Him and connecting with each other on a really deep level...
Today I epic-failed.
He tied me to the end of the bed, but in a new way, one that was much different from how I am usually bound.
It derailed me from the start. I started to panic, positive that I would lose my balance and fall over. Total nonsense, really...very doubtful that I would have fallen. But that is my irrational fear; I believe I've written before about being afraid of falling off the bed when I am TIED TO THE BED. Crazy, I know.
So, while He was clearly enjoying the new position, I was a mess. I tried to 'suck it up,' but after about five minutes (probably less, which is so embarrassing), I cried out, "I DON"T LIKE THIS!!!!!"
He untied me, and things pretty much ended then, for me anyway. I did give him a blowjob, which we both enjoyed, but I was really close to tears the whole time.
I felt horrible. Felt that I'd ruined everything. Felt I had disappointed Him, and the worst part of all was that I felt like I had taken control of the scene. *Hangs head in shame*
However, after the blowjob, He cuddled up next to me, and we talked about what happened. While I was very emotional about it, He was very logical. He stated that He wants to have me in that position (meaning we will try it again), and this was the first time trying it, and we have to learn from it. He said if it wasn't working, I was right to tell Him, and then we talked about ways to make it less frightening for me in the future.
He is so wonderful. I love Him so much.
Now if I can only get rid of the irrational fear of falling, everything will be fine.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Sunday's Update...Read About It Here!
Yesterday ended as it began, with a combination of pain and pleasure. Shortly after climbing into bed, Master started to gnaw on my left nipple while He spanked my pussy. That was the pain part...the pleasure part was the huge orgasm He gave me, followed by more fucking.
A lovely way to end the day.
Now let's update tranquility's list ofstrongly suggested activities for the weekend:
Oh, and my butt still hurts. Black and blue and purple marks are starting to surface. It's gonna hurt for a while, or as Master was kind enough to point out this morning, "It's going to hurt all week."
A lovely way to end the day.
Now let's update tranquility's list of
A beating. A good, long ass- beating, the kind that takes my breath away and leaves me all snotty and sobbing.
A spanking. On my pussy. Last time He did that, He briefly (too briefly) parted my labia and got me right on the clit. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
-
A fucking.More than one.
- A facial. He's mentioned wanting to cum on my face while I'm crying. Maybe we can do that this weekend.
An orgasm.Maybe two. Three? I've been a good girl this past week, really I have.
Oh, and my butt still hurts. Black and blue and purple marks are starting to surface. It's gonna hurt for a while, or as Master was kind enough to point out this morning, "It's going to hurt all week."
Saturday, May 5, 2012
An Update on the Update
FYI:
Early morning beatings mean that your butt hurts all day long. All. Day. Long.
And, when He smacks your ass as you walk by, it hurts even more.
(This will be on the test.)
Early morning beatings mean that your butt hurts all day long. All. Day. Long.
And, when He smacks your ass as you walk by, it hurts even more.
(This will be on the test.)
Saturday Morning Update
He read the post I wrote yesterday. He read it late in the evening, with little comment other than to point out that it was the last day of my period, so we really could not have done much kinky-sexy-type stuff anyway. This was true, so I agreed with Him. We spent the rest of the evening watching fighting shows, then went to bed.
Around 7am or so, He got up. I did not. He dressed and went to the kitchen and made coffee. He closed the bedroom door behind Him, so I took that as a sign I could snuggle back into the bed and grab some more sleep.
Hah!
He came back, I think around 8:15. I was in fact snuggled into the bed, curled up with His body pillow, and I'd dozed off while He'd been gone. The crack of His hand on my bare ass woke me up right quick, however. And He kept going. He gave me the longest hand-spanking ever, and He managed to pinch my nipple while spanking my ass. (Multi-tasking for the win!)
Eventually, He let me up so I could go pee, but when I came back He was ready for more. He bent me over the end of the bed and went back to work on my backside with Mr. Blister and Mr. Cane.
It. Hurt.
Finally, it hurt enough that I cried. My tears ended the beating, and they earned me an orgasm. Such are the benefits of sobbing when shut in a room with a Sadist wielding a cane and a paddle. Oh and no worries, He had an orgasm, too.
At this point, in the interest of fairness, I will add that when it was over, He commented on how much it took to make me cry. He said He kept doing things He thought would bring out the tears, but I just kept on taking it.
And He found that exciting. It excited Him that He had to hit my ass longer and harder. Imagine that. Sadists...
So now let's update tranquility's list ofdemands suggestions for the weekend:
Around 7am or so, He got up. I did not. He dressed and went to the kitchen and made coffee. He closed the bedroom door behind Him, so I took that as a sign I could snuggle back into the bed and grab some more sleep.
Hah!
He came back, I think around 8:15. I was in fact snuggled into the bed, curled up with His body pillow, and I'd dozed off while He'd been gone. The crack of His hand on my bare ass woke me up right quick, however. And He kept going. He gave me the longest hand-spanking ever, and He managed to pinch my nipple while spanking my ass. (Multi-tasking for the win!)
Eventually, He let me up so I could go pee, but when I came back He was ready for more. He bent me over the end of the bed and went back to work on my backside with Mr. Blister and Mr. Cane.
It. Hurt.
Finally, it hurt enough that I cried. My tears ended the beating, and they earned me an orgasm. Such are the benefits of sobbing when shut in a room with a Sadist wielding a cane and a paddle. Oh and no worries, He had an orgasm, too.
At this point, in the interest of fairness, I will add that when it was over, He commented on how much it took to make me cry. He said He kept doing things He thought would bring out the tears, but I just kept on taking it.
And He found that exciting. It excited Him that He had to hit my ass longer and harder. Imagine that. Sadists...
So now let's update tranquility's list of
A beating. A good, long ass- beating, the kind that takes my breath away and leaves me all snotty and sobbing.
- A spanking. On my pussy. Last time He did that, He briefly (too briefly) parted my labia and got me right on the clit. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
-
A fucking.Preferably while bound in some way.
- A facial. He's mentioned wanting to cum on my face while I'm crying. Maybe we can do that this weekend.
An orgasm. Maybe two. Three? I've been a good girl this past week, really I have.
Labels:
BDSM,
beating,
blowjob,
control,
hand spanking,
Master,
me,
Mr. Blister,
Mr. Cane,
orgasm,
pain
Friday, May 4, 2012
Just a few ideas...
It's Friday, the start of the weekend, our College Student is staying at the college, and that means we are home alone. So, at the risk of topping from the bottom, here is what I want are some suggested activities for the next few days:
I'm not asking for much, am I? Of course, when He reads this, He might think so...
EDIT: I wrote this a few hours ago. He still hasn't read it, although He knows I wrote it. But if you're keeping score, so far it's Blowjob for Master 1, item from tranquility's suggestion list 0.
- A beating. A good, long ass- beating, the kind that takes my breath away and leaves me all snotty and sobbing.
- A spanking. On my pussy. Last time He did that, He briefly (too briefly) parted my labia and got me right on the clit. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
- A fucking. Preferably while bound in some way.
- A facial. He's mentioned wanting to cum on my face while I'm crying. Maybe we can do that this weekend.
- An orgasm. Maybe two. Three? I've been a good girl this past week, really I have.
I'm not asking for much, am I? Of course, when He reads this, He might think so...
EDIT: I wrote this a few hours ago. He still hasn't read it, although He knows I wrote it. But if you're keeping score, so far it's Blowjob for Master 1, item from tranquility's suggestion list 0.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
The Wonder of M-type Logic
Earlier today, this happened:
me: I'm so horny....(honest expression of feeling by someone on her period who wants sex but won't get it)*
Him: Aw, baby...(attempted sincere sympathy that failed, epically)
me: ... (sitting in quiet awe of his sarcasm)
After this exchange, I left the room to use the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom, He was laying on the bed. Waiting. For a blowjob.
After the blowjob, this happened:
me: How is it that I tell you I'm horny, and you end up getting a blowjob? (honest question asked by slave)
Him: Well, I felt bad for you, so I thought I'd give you some attention. (M-type logic at work here, people)
me: That's how it works? (double-checking the M-type logic by the confused slave)
Him: Yes, that's exactly how it works. (M-type response, confident in His M-type logic)
So there you have it. Another fine example of M-type logic at work. I hope you took notes; this will be on the test.
*I refrain from sex during my period for the following reason, not because I'm squicked out by it, or because Master is squicked out by it, but because I've found that being sexually active while I'm on my cycle makes it last longer. Since I don't want a longer period, I have one week of abstinence a month. So how's that for TMI? And yes, that will be on the test as well.
me: I'm so horny....(honest expression of feeling by someone on her period who wants sex but won't get it)*
Him: Aw, baby...(attempted sincere sympathy that failed, epically)
me: ... (sitting in quiet awe of his sarcasm)
After this exchange, I left the room to use the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom, He was laying on the bed. Waiting. For a blowjob.
After the blowjob, this happened:
me: How is it that I tell you I'm horny, and you end up getting a blowjob? (honest question asked by slave)
Him: Well, I felt bad for you, so I thought I'd give you some attention. (M-type logic at work here, people)
me: That's how it works? (double-checking the M-type logic by the confused slave)
Him: Yes, that's exactly how it works. (M-type response, confident in His M-type logic)
So there you have it. Another fine example of M-type logic at work. I hope you took notes; this will be on the test.
*I refrain from sex during my period for the following reason, not because I'm squicked out by it, or because Master is squicked out by it, but because I've found that being sexually active while I'm on my cycle makes it last longer. Since I don't want a longer period, I have one week of abstinence a month. So how's that for TMI? And yes, that will be on the test as well.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down...
The search for rope continues, with Master now favoring the UV rope pictured below:
Naturally, I voted for purple. And, also naturally, my vote doesn't count. But I voted anyway.
Naturally, I voted for purple. And, also naturally, my vote doesn't count. But I voted anyway.
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