A Subtle Expression of Ownership...

Sometimes when He leaves the house, He pauses at the front door, looks back at me with keys in hand and says, "Want me to lock you in?"

I swoon a little when He does that, secretly thrilled that He wants to lock me in and protect me from the big, bad world (don't worry, our neighborhood is quite safe, I was just using an expression).

Other times He pauses at the front door, looks back at me with keys in hand and says, "I'm going to lock you in." A statement, not a question.

And I really swoon when He does that.  In one simple sentence, He makes me feel loved and owned all at the same time.

A subtle expression of ownership.  I like that.

A Wonderful Day...

It's been a wonderful day.

We slept in, sort-of, if you think 8am=sleeping in late.  We snuggled for a while, warm and cozy under the covers.  Snuggling led to groping.  Groping led to cocksucking.

Next came coffee (for Him) and tea (for me) while we watched some stuff we had DVR'd.

After TV time,  I made brunch.  We had gluten-free banana pancakes and bacon.  It was delicious.  I use King Arthur brand GF pancake mix---highly recommend it.

Post-brunch, we spent some time on our computers.

Eventually, I decided it was time for a shower.

After the shower, He decided it was time for more cocksucking.  I was happy to comply.  He was more than happy to receive.

Now we are all settled down to watch several hours of football.  We have some good football-watching snack type foods and some adult-type beverages to go along with the snacks.

Yes, it's been a wonderful day.

I'm Just a Little Black Rain-Cloud...

This has not been a banner week for me.  I have been moody and unpleasant, cranky and irritable, grumpy and short-tempered.  Why, you ask?  No idea.  It's not PMS week, so who knows the reason.

Stress?  Maybe.

Getting older and hormonal changes?  Could be.

He, however, has been a prince.  He has been kind and understanding, patient and loving, gentle and firm when needed.  He has been far more accommodating than required.  Were roles reversed, I would have kicked me to the curb.

But He has just loved me.  I have no idea what He thinks, but I imagine He keeps telling Himself, "This, too, shall pass."  Or, He could be thinking, "Christ she's a bitch today."

Perhaps both.

Despite my moodiness, we did find time to enjoy the pleasure of each others company.  He spent some time trying out new rope-work on my hair, and He gave my ass a good beating.  He didn't feel the rope-work was "pretty enough," so no pictures.

But it was good enough for Him to hold onto and pull my head back while He fucked me, so while it may not have been aesthetically pleasing, it was functional.

So there you have it, a summary of a not-so-good week.  The scary thing is this:  next week IS PMS week.

Cue the music from Jaws...

You know He loves you when....

...you have bad cramps, and He goes out and brings you back some chocolate.

Epic-Fail

After an amazing weekend of being used and abused, of being together with Him and connecting with each other on a really deep level...

Today I epic-failed.

He tied me to the end of the bed, but in a new way, one that was much different from how I am usually bound. 

It derailed me from the start.  I started to panic, positive that I would lose my balance and fall over.  Total nonsense, really...very doubtful that I would have fallen.  But that is my irrational fear; I believe I've written before about being afraid of falling off the bed when I am TIED TO THE BED.  Crazy, I know.

So, while He was clearly enjoying the new position, I was a mess. I tried to 'suck it up,' but after about five minutes (probably less, which is so embarrassing), I cried out, "I DON"T LIKE THIS!!!!!" 

He untied me, and things pretty much ended then, for me anyway.  I did give him a blowjob, which we both enjoyed, but I was really close to tears the whole time.

I felt horrible.  Felt that I'd ruined everything.  Felt I had disappointed Him, and the worst part of all was that I felt like I had taken control of the scene.  *Hangs head in shame*

However, after the blowjob, He cuddled up next to me, and we talked about what happened.  While I was very emotional about it, He was very logical.  He stated that He wants to have me in that position (meaning we will try it again), and this was the first time trying it, and we have to learn from it.  He said if it wasn't working, I was right to tell Him, and then we talked about ways to make it less frightening for me in the future.

He is so wonderful.  I love Him so much.

Now if I can only get rid of the irrational fear of falling, everything will be fine.

An Almost-Weekend Update

So what's been happening here in the House of Oblique?  Here's an update...

• The weather has been unseasonably warm, but we refuse to turn on the AC in March.  We are getting by with open windows and a box fan.  There is just something wrong about AC in March, if you ask me.

• Yesterday I did Master's laundry.  While I checked his pockets prior to loading the washing machine, I somehow overlooked the iPod tucked into a pocket of His exercise shorts.  Yes, I washed His iPod.  No, He wasn't angry (yet another reason why I love Him so much).

• Master has decided He wants a spreader bar.  When I (naturally) questioned the need for this, He said it would make me feel more helpless, and as such, the spreader bar was really for me, not for Him.  Eh, what?  Did anyone follow that logic?  I guess Masters have their own unique logic, so complex, that we lowly 's-types' will never be able to comprehend it.  Yeah, that's it.

• We will be alone tonight--our College Kid is staying over someplace else this evening.  Master has indicated that my butt will be beaten.  Here's hoping!

Perfection

It's our last night alone, and we made the most of our evening.  It was an intense encounter, an intoxicating mixture of pleasure and pain.  He did things, some old, some new, all good.  He used me and abused me, and several times He literally took my breath away.  When it was over and we lay on the bed catching our breath, I felt so loved, so in love, so owned.

It was perfect.